I think I only have 5 followers and I don’t keep up on actually doing blog posts. But if you come here looking for encouragement from the Lord then this is a blogger for you to follow ❤ The site is Spirit-filled!
I always seem to have extra kids at my house. This little man in the photo is the coolest! We decided to go hiking for a fun-filled day. There were times that he felt like the hike was too hard. I would take his hand and encourage him. Sometimes it just took me telling him how amazing he was doing and that I knew he could make it. Sometimes I had to show him a picture of the squirrels that we would get to feed and pet at the top of the mountain. When he would see the pictures he would take off running in excitement! Sure enough, he made it to the top and he was so excited to feed and pet the squirrels. I am that person that sees God in everything and this journey up the mountain reminded me of our relationship with the Lord. Sometimes it is tough but the Lord never leaves our side. He is right there encouraging us, loving us, and holding our hand. In our relationship knowing our Abba Father our faith grows. We grow as the Lord walks us through things in life.
This was our scripture from our devotional that morning and how fitting. God is amazing always speaking to us ❤️
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
All of God’s creations are beautiful ❤ These kids amaze me!
I never doubted that they could make it to the top! I think that is why we are able to do so many adventures together!
I always see things in pictures. God has been working in my life a lot with the picture of surrender. My arms stretched wide open and falling into a crystal clear blue body of water before his throne. My life is FULLY GOD’S. I want all that I am, EVERYTHING that I am and do to completely be his. In all things to speak by his word, to know him so intimately that his love can’t help but spill out to the world ❤
This piece was from my devotional today and I thought it was beautiful. Thank you, Laura Story, for allowing God to give you words of wisdom!
“When we surrender ourselves to God, we worship him. Surrendering doesn’t lead us into worship; our surrender is our worship. The proper response of someone who has been given everything is to present their very life to the one who has given them everything. I can’t present myself as a holy and blameless sacrifice on the basis of my track record, but I can present myself to God as holy and blameless based on his mercy! We don’t surrender our lives to God to gain his favor. We offer ourselves to him in response to the favor he’s already freely shown us, because of the saving work of Jesus.
Worship is the lived experience of offering myself, moment by moment and day by day, to a living God. It is opening my hands and letting go of whatever I am clinging to instead of him. It is acting as if everything he says about himself and about me is absolutely true. When I surrender my life as a sacrifice to God, I am worshiping Him. Every moment of prizing God is a re-ordering of my own status. He reigns; therefore, I do not. He rules; therefore, I do not. He is sovereign; therefore, I am not.”
Yes Lord, Yes ❤
Your Joy, Your Love, all that You are can’t stay inside me. It is bubbling up! God, you are so good!
I won’t stop sharing your love because I know your love so well! You are love and I am yours ❤ Spill out into the World!
I am amazed by God every second of every single day ❤
I don’t have a favorite banana bread recipe. I usually google banana bread and I make the first thing that pops up. I am always a fan of easy! With the Coronavirus going on and having to stay in the house, I didn’t have much on hand(my daughter has been baking up a storm)! So, I used what I had. I have to share the recipe because if you are like me and you need quick, easy and to be able to make something delicious with what you have on hand than this recipe will be your go-to. It is the best banana bread any of us had ever eaten and it is now the only recipe we will use! It makes you feel good when you figure out what is best on your own ❤
Preheat oven to 350° F
- 2 overly ripe bananas (most recipes ask for 3-4, you can use more if you have that many rotten bananas:)
- 1 stick butter (I used salted)save the plastic it was wrapped in to grease your pan
- 1 egg
- 3/4 cup sugar (I used 1/4 cup white & 1/2(or 2: 1/4)cup brown sugar, again Rian used all our sugar. whatever sugar you have on hand will work)
- 1 1/2 cup self-rising flour (I didn’t have any baking soda left, Rian had used it all) If you have flour and baking soda you can do the same amount of flour 1 1/2 cup with 1 teaspoon of baking soda. make sure you mix the dry together themselves in a separate bowl if you are mixing the flour and baking soda yourself. If you have self-rising throw it in, it is already ready to go!
Bake at 350° F for 1 hour in a greased banana bread pan (that you used the butter wrapper to grease it with)
Hardly any ingredients yet it tastes more fluffy and lovely than ever before ❤
God provided a way with my shorthand of ingredients.
I am amazed by God every second of every single day.
This post goes along with my last post. I have been really struggling at home. That last post was hard to write. It isn’t easy to share your struggles. It isn’t easy to share the thoughts that you have had while doing what God has called you to. Those thoughts I had about my son being a frustration were okay to have, they wouldn’t have been okay if I would have allowed them to take me out of what God had me doing. If I allowed my struggles to rule my life. It isn’t easy to say that you are struggling with a child. To actually say out loud you feel like you are failing.
I want you to know YOU ARE NOT!
You are the exact parent that God had for your kids!
I will tell you though that if you want to be the best parent for your kids. If you want to change those behaviors you have to seek God with all your heart. These emotions had been getting strong for the last few months. The reason they were getting STRONG was that God is working on this issue in my heart ❤
I am reading through a devotional with some friends. Today was about God placing greatness on the inside of you and greatness will request you to change. I am going to sum it up: We want people or situations around us to change. If we want people or those things to change, then we need to change. The “NEW” we are wanting around has to first take root inside of us.
18. “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 19. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19
And I sat in tears.
God, thank you for speaking to this heart issue. Thank you that when I seek you, you faithfully show me what you are doing! Thank you that you love me and my son so very much that you do not leave our side.
I need to change.
I don’t know what this will look like. I do not know what God will be changing in me again. I know that it will be great though! Someone wise once said to me, “We are in a constant state of change because we are always seeking Christ. To become more like Christ we can’t stay the same. We have to be constantly changing.” Such wonderful words(it was my husband this morning:) ❤ I will continue to be more like Christ’s character. I will love my son better. I will love others better. I am ready Lord to be refined. Thank you for showing yourself to me!
Lord, I love you with ALL OF MY HEART! I ONLY WANT TO BE YOURS! I only want to love others how you do! Change me! Then things will change around me ❤
I am amazed by God every second of every single day ❤
I sit here and think about how much my life has changed in the last year. How God has grown me tremendously and continues to grow me with each passing day! I think I am going to start blogging more now that I have the time. I am going to share a little lie that the enemy put in my head a while back and how God has changed that in me by knowing him, by knowing his character, by knowing his word and by giving me confident hope!
I was at the park for a play date with a friend. I don’t remember exactly the situation but I remember Jonah did something and my question to him was, “what does the Lord say about that?” My friend was listening and she said to me, “way to make him never listen.” This was so many years ago and I remember thinking about the statement A LOT! Would I turn my kids away from the Lord always correcting them with the Lord? Always using his word in every circumstance? My answer was “no”. But did I really believe that? I don’t know that in every situation, in every little thing in life that I was thinking of the Lord, presenting his word in all things or praying about everything in life.
Jonah has always been my struggle. I was talking to Kit this morning about if we were failing. Kit right away said, “We are not failing.” The word says to “raise up a child in the way he should go and when he is older he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
Jonah is stubborn. He is strong-willed. He thinks the absolute highest of himself. He is nine and he thinks he is always right. When we do devotional he is usually interrupting or in his own thoughts. He goes non stop! He goes until his head lies down and he crashes. The enemy tries to use my parenting with Jonah a lot to make me feel defeated. Sometimes I feel secluded with the situation. Jonah can’t function in a school setting. He just falls behind, he doesn’t fit into the mold they are trying to teach to. I feel secluded that Jonah is so hard that no one ever invites him over. That he is so rambunctious that instead of people loving him and excepting the loud, proud child that he is they are wanting him to be an obedient rule-following child. I am super involved at church and sometimes I have felt that it is hard to be there all day because people are getting frustrated with him. Maybe you have felt like you have a child that doesn’t fit in? That you can’t leave his side. I have these emotions too but let us take our thoughts captive(2 Corinthians 10:5). Let us pray for our kids. Let us train up our kids in the way they should go so when they are older they will not depart from it. Pray for families like yours that have kids that have the same traits that want to share in life together. God provides everything we need. These kids are hard to raise but God knew we could do it. Pray that their strong will is only for God. That their attitude that they can do anything is that they can do anything for God! Pray for kids that can connect with the kid you struggle with at home. Anoint your kid at night and speak over their life. Give God all you struggle with. If you have a child that you don’t understand, God understands them. I didn’t know how to write this? Is it okay to feel like you have a child that you have no idea what you are doing? I have three kids and though each one is different I don’t struggle with the other two not listening at all. I don’t struggle like I do with my son.
Last week Jonah was fighting back and forth with me. He was saying that he didn’t do something that I said he did. He fights with me non stop like this. He is always on defense. It ended with him swearing to God that he was telling the truth. In which I told him he may not do!
Today Jonah came into the house from outside where he was playing with his friend. I asked him why he was inside. He said his friend keeps saying he did something that he didn’t do. He said really his friend was the one that did it. I kept cleaning the bathroom as I thought about what he was saying. I struggled with what he was saying. It seems like we just keep going through this. Jonah, I said, “you don’t need to say who is right or who is wrong. Go tell him you are sorry and you want to play with him.” I already told him, I am sorry and want to play with him even though I didn’t do it. Again, Jonah, you don’t have to tell him you didn’t do it. I know mom, turn my other cheek. Yes, I have used that a lot! Okay, I thought, “it is time to sit with my son and talk about this.” So, we sat and had a conversation. I wasn’t going to say that Jonah. I want to talk to you about this whole situation. We had just gone over this Kit and I with him yesterday. He and his friend fight back and forth every day about who is right and who isn’t which usually leads to them taking a break from each other and then playing again after a break. That doesn’t get to the heart of the issue though. I had just read in Mathew 5 about oaths and I wanted to go back to the other day when you swore to God that you didn’t do it. I read Mathew 5 to him. I will only put here Mathew 5: 37; All you need to say is ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. He was not happy to sit and listen. He kept saying, “fine I will go back outside.” No, Jonah, you will sit here with me and listen. You feel the need to defend yourself a lot. The word says that we don’t need to do that. The other day you swore to God. That is taking this to a new level of defense. I hope that you wouldn’t ever swear to God with a lie. The word says to say your yes or no and that is all. God knows the truth, he knows and sees all. God knows if you did or didn’t do something. So, say your yes or no and then stop. God came not in his glory and splendor of being King. He came here as a servant. He came here as an example of how we are to be. Of how to live. Jonah, you have told me that you have given your life to the Lord. So, that means your life is not your own. That the Holy Spirit lives inside of you and you are lead by God. God has a plan for your life. You don’t have to defend yourself because it doesn’t matter. You are to show your friend Jesus’ love. God came to serve. He came to love. He came so we would know how to be towards others. We are to be patient, to be kind, to be joyful, to share love, to share goodness, to share gratefulness, to show self-control and live out faithfulness and to be peaceful. He came in humility. Jonah, you are to think of others above yourself. So, I ask you to follow God’s word. If you tell him you didn’t do it, then leave it at that. Don’t fight. I can promise you when you get married, you and your wife will not agree on everything. There are times when your dad and I do not agree. If I think something is right that he does not, I have learned to say it to him. To say it, then to leave it at that. To pray about it and to allow God to speak to him. We can’t control things. God is in complete control. We can’t control our lives for our lives are God’s. This makes me think about the story we learned in kids church about Joseph. How he was sold into slavery and because he was a faithful servant of God he became the number one servant in Potiphar’s house. Then Potiphar’s wife wanted to sleep with Joseph.(Genesis 39) He was a God-fearing man and even though this woman was rich and beautiful and he was just a servant he didn’t think of the situation as someone important wanting him, he knew it was wrong and he said no. He was faithful to God. She was not happy that he wouldn’t be with her and she threw herself at him. When Joseph ran away she ripped a piece of his shirt. She then turned him in for rape. She lied and Joseph went to jail. He went to jail for something he didn’t do. Joseph didn’t try to prove his innocence. Don’t you think things seemed bad to Joseph? He was sold into slavery, worked his way up because of his faithfulness and then even though he was faithful he was thrown in jail for something he did not do. Joseph prayed and he trusted God’s plan. I am amazed by Joseph’s faithfulness. He interpreted two men’s dreams. Jonah chimed in that one man died. You are correct Jonah one man did die. He interpreted that one would die and one would live and he told them not to forget him. To tell Pharaoh about him. They forgot. Joseph was in jail for 10 years altogether. Then Pharaoh had a dream and the cupbearer who lived remembered his promise to Joseph. When no one could interpret Pharoah’s dreams the cupbearer told him that Joseph who is in prison can interpret dreams. Joseph interpreted Pharaoh’s dream and he was placed as his right-hand man. He was next in line after Pharoah of important people. Joseph never lost hope in God’s plan. He never lost his faithfulness. Your life is God’s and he has a plan for your life. You don’t have to fight those battles in defense of you being right. Say it once and be done, God knows the truth. Jonah’s whole attitude changed. He sat looking at me and listening fully. I hugged him and told him that I love him so very much and that he is an amazing man of God. Who shows how amazing Jesus is by the way he lives his life. And it’s moments like this that I know God has my kids in his hands.
I do not think I am right in everything. Quite honestly I think that I make so many mistakes it is ridiculous! But God is made known in my weakness(2 Corinthians 12:9). When I think I am failing God shows me, he is working! I am learning to not only know God’s word but to fully live it out. I know that I am to answer all things in my life, in my husband’s life, and in my children’s life by God’s words. I am only to live out God’s word. When I gave my whole life to God, my life was no longer mine. I live in God’s confident hope ❤
I am amazed by God every second of every single day ❤
I never thought I would be a homeschool mom. I mean the thought was always in the back of my mind but my FOREVER PRAYER WAS FOR MORE PATIENCE! Literally, I suck with patience! My fuse is short! Who would have thought that God would call me to be a homeschool mom!?!
Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly. Proverbs 14:29
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19-20
Well, God knows exactly how to answer our prayers ❤ Anger is a normal response, it is how you respond that makes you who you are. God wanted me to have more patience and he knew that I can’t do it without him. God was growing me, God is always growing me ❤ I can not tell you how much my patience has grown! I can not tell you how much better of a mom I am today! I do not know if I will homeschool all three of my kids all the way through high school. Right now, I am in prayer about next school year. Will it be private school or homeschool? Only God knows!?! I felt like God called me to homeschool two years ago. That my son needed the one on one. My life was spinning and I was homeschooling. I think God knew exactly what he was doing. Actually, I know God knew exactly what he was doing. I think if my kids weren’t home I would have wallowed in hurt. I wouldn’t have gotten out of bed. There were so many days that I didn’t want to get up. That all I wanted to do was stay in bed and cry. God knew that I would be strong for my kids, that I would seek him. That we would grow together ❤
My son super struggled in public school. He slipped through the cracks. I never knew that he was SO FAR behind! The teachers always told me how amazing of a student he was. He was always getting rewarded with certificates for AMAZING LEADER, FRIEND TO ALL and RULE FOLLOWER. During our parent-teacher conferences, they would praise him. Then at the halfway meet up they would tell me that he was behind. They would give me things to work on with him. He didn’t have an IEP so even though every year he seemed to get a little further behind he couldn’t get the extra help because the kids that had IEP’s in place had first priority. We were working on things but the struggle was intense at home. He had been at school for 7 hours when he got home he did not want to sit down and do more work, he wanted to be outside playing with his friends.
Here is one of our homeschool experiences and some things that I am learning:
Homeschooling is not always easy! Actually, it can be quite hard! The curriculum yes but mainly(I’m just going to speak the truth)always having your kids around 24/7. Going through every season with them. Hearing every whine, every insecurity and every complaint. I can’t tell you how many times I have thought(or even said)your going back to school, but I have to tell you how great these REALLY HARD times have been. I am seeing my kids grow in their learning, I am knowing my kids in every aspect of life. School is important but the prayer with my kids, the reading of word and the encouragement that I am learning to be able to give(it’s crazy that this is actually a hard thing to learn)has been absolutely amazing.
My kids had to watch some videos for school and they were learning about 2 different thought processes. Kids can think that they got it or they don’t. This obviously isn’t a good way of thinking it can have a super negative effect because kids can see themselves as they are smart or not. If they don’t understand something, they think they are just not smart. The 2nd way of thinking is that our brains are muscles that we don’t know everything, that we have to try even when things are hard and work out our muscles to grow them(very short recap of what the videos were about). I have been using this analogy a lot since watching the video with them. During our devotional(a few months ago)I related to it again. I talked to my kids about how they are children of God. We thanked God for being our Father, for being our provider and for being the creator of all. I told them that when a subject is hard for them we can take it to God. That all wisdom and knowledge comes from him. That since he is the creator of all that he created their curriculum. That he gave the people the knowledge to write it, so God has all the answers. That if we pray and ask him to grow our minds that he will help us. God will show us how to understand and learn. I have seen my kids grow in so much already. In math, in reading and in who they are. It’s wonderful to see. I have seen great fits(fits that I wish were not happening)but it’s really cool that I am able to walk through it with them, to pray with them and point them to the Lord. I question homeschooling every single day. I don’t know if we will do it forever but I love that we are growing together in the Lord❤️ What a blessing this season is!
I am amazed by God every second of every single day ❤
This is a testimony on what God did in my husband and myself. It was not written without my husband’s consent 🙂 I look at it and think it is so very incomplete. When I write I love to put scripture to everything to show God’s hand in everything in my life. I am sure that this testimony has so much more work that will unfold. I believe God brought us through this to help others. I don’t know how yet, but I know God has a plan!
Just a year ago our marriage was on the rocks. We almost didn’t make it but that is one good thing about not making any decisions without talking to God first. Our marriage had gotten so bad that I left with our kids and went to stay with my mom. I sat in the living room praying, actually I was telling God my plan. My plan to leave my husband, to sell our house before we lost it and to leave so my heart didn’t have to go through this anymore. I told God that I would continue to pray for my husband and if my husband decided to give his life back to God, that maybe we could someday get back together. See I was on my knees in prayer but I was doing all the talking. God patiently listened and then he spoke, he told me that those were not his plans and I would stay even if we lost everything. After that day I started praying with expectation. I think I was on auto, I was doing the motions of praying because I knew it was what was right. I think we should always push ourselves to pray because it is right, it is a sacrifice of ourselves and our time and it helps keep us trusting in the Lord. Yet, I had no expectation of things getting better. Things looked so bad that I could only see bad all around me.
Here is our story: My husband became an alcoholic, he allowed Satan to lie to him and get a hold of his life. Our marriage always seemed perfect, I felt like I lived in a fairytale. I don’t think that my husband and I ever had a fight(I mean something that lasted)in the 9 years we had been married, but then something 3 years ago shifted. We started to grow apart. My husband thought that I looked down on him, he thought we had become 2 completely different people that could not be married anymore. I was so lost how did we get here? Why were we fighting? Why did my husband who I thought loved me as Jesus loved me start talking down to me? Start feeling like I didn’t love him but that I looked down on him. There is some truth to this. I saw him choosing to do a lot of worldly things and I was always able to go to my husband and tell him things that I saw. My words were no longer excepted by him. He thought that I didn’t like him. Some of it was true, I loved him but I did not like who he was becoming. I remember for 2 years telling my prayer warrior friend that I love him but I feel bad saying that I don’t like who he is. I had just finished a bible study on Psalm 23 and it was life-changing. I started praying that I would live a life without lack. That I would trust God no matter what went on in my life. God knew I would ask this and he knew my heart. My world started spinning literally right after that. I started getting collection calls. I found out I had more debt than I could have ever expected a person to have. Addiction takes over your life and it costs a lot! I had lived a life full of the things I wanted before I met my husband, I wasn’t a dedicated believer until I was 21. I made a lot of bad decisions and did things that you shouldn’t do before marriage. This caused a lot of trust issues in relationships in my life. My husband showed me true love. He loved me through some really difficult times when we first got together. He showed me Jesus’ love and he helped me grow in the Lord by who he was in his Christ-like Character. God knew I still had some healing that needed to happen in my life. He knew that my trust in him needed to grow. In the time we were going through I lost focus on the man of God that my husband is. Trust was broken and the one person who I thought could never or would never hurt me, hurt me. That is a lot to put on someone. See I grew so much in this process. God knew exactly what he was doing. God knew that I was stubborn, he knew that I was his and he knew exactly who my husband needed in his life to help bring him through this time! When God spoke, I listened and I prayed with expectation. I started calling out my husband as the man of God I knew him to be. I started being present in my husband’s life(instead of separating myself from him)I started praying in tongues. I learned to respect my husband even when I don’t think he is being respectable. To share my concerns but to let him make his own decisions and to respect him, to love him and to pray for him. Our marriage is better than it was before. My husband knows he can communicate with me(even if I still am hard to communicate with:), he knows that I will always be there for him, he knows that I am a wife who will pray for our family. God continues to grow our love. We have learned that love holds no records of wrongs, that it does not dishonor others, that it is not self-seeking, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, it always perseveres. These things are not always easy. We are rebuilding trust, we are learning to not put ourselves first, we are learning to persevere even through hard things that come up. We went through the Dave Ramsey classes and we are doing everything financial together. We are living like no one else(we tithe but the rest goes to paying things off)so we can live like no one else ❤ (so we can give more than we ever thought possible:) God continues to speak to our lives and hearts and show us his truths. I pray that our wisdom and knowledge is from only God, that he leads our family, that he takes out the things that should not be in our lives and I trust our lives in his hands. God only has good for us! God only has good for our marriage! GOD IS ONLY GOOD!
I am amazed by God every second of every single day ❤
I can not tell you what church meant to me today! I was a little teary eyed before heading up to teach kids class but our lesson today, the kids interaction and responses helped me surrender. Kids class today brought me joy ❤ I am so thankful that I get to be a part of teaching these kiddos about the Lord ❤
Our lessons this month have been on Joseph. Today was a lesson for all! Potiphar’s wife wanted Joseph to be her boyfriend(even though she was married!) No good! I love how it is put for the kids 🙂 Joseph always did the right thing and he stayed away from her. She wouldn’t stop pursing and as Joseph ran a piece of his shirt stayed in her hand. She of course went to her husband and said that Joseph tried to attack her. Joseph was thrown in jail. He did the right thing and still he was thrown in jail. Could you imagine being sold into slavery by your brothers, gaining favor because of the man of God you are and then even though you do the right thing you are accused of sexual assault and thrown in jail? I would definitely think that it was unfair. I am sure I would want to tell ALL that I was innocent. I know I would continue to seek God in the horrible situation but I still would not stop talking about my innocence. I would probably let the hurt, the lies and the betrayal never stop turning in my mind(even though I was praying, reading my word & trying to give it completely over to God:). But because I am going through all those same emotions and I continue to seek God and give him my heart he is continually showing me his character. He continues to show me how to walk through these things really in him. To really surrender things to him. Joseph continued to pray, he continued to be faithful, he continued to trust in God. We learned in our lesson that even when things are going wrong we are to keep doing what is right, keep putting others first and to remember God is in control. Wow! Just, Wow!
Our scripture for this week in kids church:
“The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time.” – Psalm 34:19
I had so much to learn from this story. See I continue to pray, I continue to read my word, I think I am pretty faithful but my trust needs to be more! I still am holding onto the hurt. I still feel like in what we are walking through that the betrayal needs to be justified. That the hurt needs to stop! That marriage is not only about one person that I need to have a part in it. All that I am feeling is completely true and right but I am not fighting this battle against my husband. I am not going to tell you what he did. That would not uplift him. I have wondered how I could go on not having any say in any of my husbands decisions in life. How can I not…….. and the list goes on. Today my kids and I went to church alone and it was right where we needed to be. Like I said I had picked up the hurt but God already knew I would. He already had people waiting to pray over me, my kids lesson and the lesson in service spoke right to my heart. God is good all the time! Today a friend prayed over me before I walked into the sanctuary, today a father of one of my students said he got the job that I prayed over him for and I got to praise Jesus with him. Today the lesson told me to keep doing what is right, to put others first and to know God is in control. I’m adding our churches service because it went along with this perfectly! 10/21 New Life sermon “Viral Sacrifice”
God is so good! I needed to change my attitude before my husband came back home. I need to only show the Lord’s character because that is who I choose to be ❤ I am completely his ❤
It’s not about me, it’s ALL ABOUT YOU GOD ❤
I am amazed by God every second of every single day ❤
I have been trying to get in to see a counselor, I can not tell you how hard it is! Lots of people must see counselors! I mean I am being picky, I only want to see a Christian counselor so that could be a factor! I never thought that I would ever go to a counselor, I just never thought that I would need to. I mean God is the best counselor, right? I put everything in his hands so why go? Today I felt desperate to see someone. I just needed to talk to someone and some biblical advice would also be nice.
I didn’t know how to get passed a situation. A situation that I thought was so Big. Remember in my last post that I said nothing is too BIG for God. See, my husband has a huge passion for music. He loves me but he has always loved music above me and that has always been okay because God has filled that hole. I mean don’t get me wrong, that does not mean that it is always easy for me. But when I pick up hurt because of this, I hand it over to God and He walks me past it. Until, today. I have a passion now too, that passion is children’s ministry. I feel strongly called to children’s ministry. I actually had planned to go to school to be a children’s Pastor through our denomination. Well, my husband has two concerts in November. They are on the same two days that our church has kids convention. I started to think up all these ways that my husband and I could compromise. Maybe he could play one show and I could do one of the days of kid convention. I knew that would never happen. I didn’t know how to get past this. I felt like our passions were colliding. I think that life should go God, then family and then down the line. So, I started to think should I just give this up to put my husband first. Then I thought that isn’t fair. Do I give everything up forever so my husband is happy? But, I can’t do the fair game or else nothing in my life would make sense. After work I talked to someone close to me. After talking about it, I sat down and I prayed. I didn’t think that this could be taken because remember the Storm post? I felt like I wasn’t being seen and I give and give and I have nothing left to give. Let me tell you what God did after I stopped, rested and prayed:
I told God that nothing was too BIG for him. That I didn’t want to let Satan hurt me with this. That I trust God and if he wants me to go to kids convention that I know he will make a way. All the hurt went away. Trusting in God moves you past things that seem impossible. This was yet another thing that I had to surrender.
This passion is not mine to hold onto. I think that is what I had to learn. Of course children’s ministry is for God and is an amazing passion that he has put inside me, but it isn’t mine to hold onto. If God wants me to be a part of kids convention(picture is kids convention 2017)he will make a way. If God wants me to go to school for ministry even if I have no money to my name, he will make a way. In this season I have been praying that God would change me from the inside out. That I would be a better women/wife/mom because of this. God is so very faithful. He continues to grow me. If you feel like you are giving too much, you are. We are not meant to give more than we can. God shows us how to love. I can’t feel like I am giving too much of myself to my husband because that means that I am. That means that I have gotten my order messed up. That I am not putting God first.
I am learning in Al-anon to let go and let God. I already know this but when there is hard things going on in life sometimes you need to be reminded to give those things to God. I don’t know what I think about counseling? I do think that I have come to the conclusion that it is a good thing. Sometimes the only way to make sense of your thoughts is to say them to someone. I am a part of a form of counseling and I know that each week when I get to my meeting I definitely needed it. Every week God speaks to me. Every week I walk out with my eyes right back on Jesus ❤ I am so very thankful for my Al-anon family! Even after we make it through this season with victory in Christ I will continue to go because it is so nice being in a room with people that are walking through the same things that I am. I will always support people walking through this. I guess another passion that God has given me ❤
LET GO AND LET GOD ❤
I am amazed by God every second of every single day ❤